What’s in My Mompurse? {In Which I Pretend You Really Want to Know}

I’ve wanted to do this for a long time.   I take a special delight in getting to see glimpses of the treasures fashion bloggers tote around in their clydesdale handbags.  It’s actually kind of boring, and usually there’s only like 5 things inside, and the writing is generally lifeless. BUT. If there were a magazine full of pictures of people’s purse contents, I’d probably stand in the Target magazine aisle for a half second longer than I never ever do, flipping through and not buying. But it’s still interesting somehow.  So now we come to it:

 I know the real question everyone is asking is: What’s in my Mompurse?

Meet my three year old bag: Karen.

A Christmas present from Craiger.

When pulled from countertops, Karen is known to wield her heftiness, and injure small people. Otherwise, she’s a fine tempered, old gal, and has aged beautifully.

So, let’s take a look inside, shall we?

 On second thought, I’ll just do this:

That ceramic snowman? An art class project from FIRST GRADE. Don’t ask why. Just accept me.

I couldn’t do this with a straight face if I didn’t share the reality first.  Above is as real as it gets:  crumpled napkins, kleenex, receipts, graham crackers, articles of children’s clothing, and dollar bin party favors from Lexington’s birthday, summer of 2013. There’s a flash drive and I haven’t checked its contents in 4 years.  Remove those articles from the scene, and here’s what we’re really looking at:

…who spots the month-old graham bunny? He may be older than that.

I hide my treasures from grubby fingers inside various, smaller pouches.  One might think this system would cut down on the clutter, and yet …refer to photo 2.  But, given the contents of the pouches, perhaps my mother clutter would be far worse.  I’m not willing to test that out.

Since I’m the kind of crazy who speaks “organized mess” let’s take a closer look:

The Momergency.

Target travel section box:

• Basic first Aid because it’s inevitable.
• Tide wipe because obviously.
• Tea because I kind of panic when thinking I might end up somewhere void of a warm beverage.  I’m still figuring out how to store hot water.

The Wench Case.

A zip case (free gift with order from my favorite cosmetic brand):

• Hair things for when I have to tear out of the house with a rat’s nest on top of my head.  Hats don’t like me.
• My favorite hairspray to cement the nest.
• Perfume I’ve had for 3 years and maybe worn once. For when I smell worse than usual. Even then, I might prefer my own stench, to this. I really thought I liked Juicy at the time. But I don’t. It’s chemical-y, as are most eaus.

Anita Dahling.

An adorable zip envelope (gift from my SIL who works in the fashion industry, dahhhling):

• DoTerra Frankincense Essential Oil- a sample given to me from Cathso sister, Katlin.  I dab a little on myself and on Emmett when we’re going anywhere to ease anxiety.  It smells like Jesus, and He saves.
• Necessary ID Cards for which Amazon happily agreed to be stunt double.
• “Lip gloss”- Out of all those glosses up top, this is the only one I ever use.

G.L.A.M.O.R.O.U.S.

Glamorous faux Molskine: Target dolla dolla beeeyin.

• pen for writing/doodling.  Because I’m one o’ dem. Ouayyy, ma chère.
• That’s a stylus far right.  I use it for my iPhone to edit photos on the go because I’m a wannabe blogger who does her own wannabe photos.

The Purple Pony

Free cosmetic bag with purchase from my favorite cosmetic brand (call it a “free gift” and Carolyn will come):

• And now you’re wondering why I keep saying my favorite cosmetic brand when …thar she be.
• The depicted make-up content is actually more than what I usually carry.  I use the Purple Pony for when I need to take this amount to apply on the gallop.
• No, I don’t drive and paint: It’s simply easier to get the children bound to their car seats, and paint the old canvas in the driver’s seat (or passenger if Craig’s driving), than having 2 of them circling my legs like felines in the bathroom, while a third grabs the mascara and runs it out of the room, only to be found under the refrigerator, 6 months later.

My Weapon.

This concealed carry was made by my Aunt Barb, who is is a beautiful talent, and uses that talent to spread her love of Christ. My mother and all her sisters are so artistically talented (and in different ways!), I am seriously in awe over it.

Port-a-Changey

Another free gift. From a close family member who so excitedly bought a Kate Spade bag on SUCH a great sale, that once she realized she’d mistakenly purchased a diaper bag, the damage was done. We laughed forever over it, and she gave me the matching changing pad that can be used for things far beyond changing stinkies.

Where all of the diapers and wipes are stashed? Glad you wondered.  My mom gives each of her grand children a backpack for the first Christmas after they start walking.  This is where Dwight Schrute steps up and you betchya my little people are carrying their own diapers and wipes. Now to get them to change on their own…

What became of the staging area for these photographs zero point two seconds after I photographed the last thing.

Now you know!  Aren’t you so glad you didn’t pick something more enlightening to read? I know. I’m sorry.  It might happen again –NOT–  I mean NOT: It might not happen again.
Anyone else want to play and do this too? Just for fun?
Maybe just make it an Instagram one-photo game? Tag me?

Anybody…?
No?

…okaybai.

{UPDATE! Feb 25 and I just learned from Jenna that Kendra is doing a link up!  yay! mom bags unite!}